Cultivating community

Looking for a third place

Now that I’ve left Perth, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want my life in Stockholm to look like. I know that I need to find or cultivate some sort of community in order to make Sweden feel like home and I’m wondering what exactly it is that I’m looking for. What will a community offer me and what I should be expecting? I’m not sure yet. From all reports the Swedes like to keep to themselves, so I anticipate I have a challenge ahead of myself.

This made me think about the Third Place concept, whereby we have a place other than our home and our work to regularly spend time and connect with familiar people. Traditionally this was a sporting club, church community or even a local bar or cafe (think Central Perk in Friends), but today it can easily become the internet, which is a trap I try hard to avoid.

After moving back to Perth in 2020, my third place became my tennis club. I’m usually there 1-3 times a week depending on the time of year and I always know when I go there that I will see my friends and bump into people I know. My tennis girlfriends have become close friends who I trust and have heaps of fun with! When we started playing tennis together it felt refreshing to connect with people of different ages and life experiences who were outside of my existing friendship groups, family and colleagues. Now, as well as being lots of fun, these friends are likeminded, offer great advice and hold an important place in my life. I feel very lucky to have them.

Given the value of my third place in Perth, I hope to find something similar while living in Stockholm. Although I hope my expectations aren’t too high. I know I’ll have colleagues and existing friends who will visit me, but I obviously really hope I create local friendships too. I wonder if finding a third place will channel these friendships. It could be a community through tennis, padel, bookclub, cookbook club, pilates or anything.. I’m really not sure yet!

I don’t think I’ll be able to replicate exactly what I have in Perth, but I’m excited to give it a go.

Kate